I Still Write Pretentious Reviews: Foam Parties

Pros: Dancing into a massive crowd as a foam machine spits out enough bubbly soap to roughly cover the country of Luxemburg is surprisingly fun, and does take a little bit of courage. Good drink deals. Scantily clad people.

Cons: Almost choking to death on said bubbly soap. Having strangers rubs foam in your hair because they think that’s what one should do at the moment. Realizing that you are submerged in what amounts to a giant bath shared by 200 people who are sweating a lot. Realizing your clothes are so damp you might as well just played on a slip-n-slide fully clothed for several hours. Realizing the majority of scantily clad people are actually men just covered in foam.

Verdict: I want to cut my skin off to feel clean again.